A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship. It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear,” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear, something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you when you’re wrong. A true friend will confront you with your problem as quickly as inform you about a malignant-looking skin lesion on your back that you can’t see yourself.
A true friend is Much like with family member, you can go extended stretches of weeks or months without talking and hanging out consistently, yet there’s no doubts about your relationship. Schedules get busy, circumstances arise, but your friendship remains fully intact.
If someone slings their name through the mud, you take offense, interrupt and kill any bashing immediately – and they’ll do the exact same for you.
They are sincerely happy to see you have any type of success. Not the lying-through-my-teeth fake smile and bogus “Screw you, why not me? Ohhhh, well good for you!” – but legitimate excitement and congratulations.
They’ve dropped you off at or picked you up from the airport. This is especially meaningful if you have something like a 5am flight and picked you up at the airport by 1am
. All of your posts on social networks are guaranteed a comment, like, favorite, or SOME TYPE OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT from your friend. It may sound stupid
They expect you to drop everything so you can cater to their needs
There are times, however, when you can’t. Because you have a life too, and your life doesn’t revolve around theirs. But no matter what you have on your plate, their situation always seems to be far more important. It is absolute hell if you do succumb to their needs because then they make their problems your own. It’s a stress dump, really. They see that you’ve got your life figured out and they want you to do the same for them. Thus, they’re not really seeking to chill or hang out. It’s just convenient for them because they need you to fix something. Here’s a reality check — we’re all adults here. We’ve got our own things to deal with, our own problems to micro-manage. Sure, friends help each other out. But you can’t be expected to do so all the time. If that’s something they can’t understand, then they are blinded by their own self-importance, which isn’t an ideal ingredient for a sustainable friendship.
They always puff up their own importance.
You got a job! You got an award! Or perhaps you’ve nabbed yourself a free cup of coffee (which, c’mon let’s be honest, is a pretty awesome feat). So you share these details with your friend hoping to hear them say, “Good for you!” Instead, they find some clever way to make it all about them. “You got a job? Well I got promoted,” or “Oh you got free coffee? Well I got free coffee and a croissant.” They feel the need to one-up you because they don’t see your good news as something to be happy about. They see it as a competition. Soon, you’ll be less ecstatic about sharing your personal accomplishments. You should never have to feel that way. We all want to share what happened throughout our days. Because as people, we naturally seek validation from our peers. But if you have to actively search for it in your so-called “friend,” then perhaps you should find a new friend.
They mock you and compliment you at the same time because…passive-aggressive.
Here’s one of the most frustrating things about fake friends: they’ve mastered the art of speaking passive-aggressively. It’s a second-language to them. Again, it all stems from their nature to compete. It’s not enough to one-up you. Sometimes they just have to put you down. “This casserole is delicious! Where did you cater?” or “That was an amazing piece you wrote the other day. Who helped you write it?” They find ways to mask their insults as compliments. That’s the worst part; because slowly but surely they chip away at your self-confidence. You may not even realize it until your morale has worn out completely.
They gossip endlessly about others.
This is a major red flag. If they’re constantly talking about other people, just imagine what they’re saying behind your back. That’s a terrible thought to have lingering in your mind. But it’s how they convince themselves that they’re better than everyone else, including you. Sure, it’s one thing to vent about someone. It’s another thing entirely to tear people apart when their backs are turned. A real friend wouldn’t do that; a real friend’s got your back.
They only see you as an end product
This is the cold hard truth: a fake friend will use you any way they can, A true friend recognizes your inherent kindness and returns it a hundredfold. Because it’s a trait they admire, not envy. Those who don’t fall into that category only see you as a stepping stone. And they will ditch you once they have no more use for you. Believe me, that isn’t where you want to end up. Because the way back to your dignity will be a dark and lonely road.
Of course, we don’t see these traits But time reveals many things, like whether a friendship has run its course. Don’t beat yourself up if that turns out to be the case. Be grateful for it. Consider it a learning experience to help you evaluate who to keep in your inner circles. After all, life is a precious thing. Spend it with people who make the journey worthwhile.
Thank you for your time